Borrowed Angels

First of all, I was excited to see that my blog has been read in the US, Canada, and Europe so far!

This post isn't all about Tori today. It is simply about any child battling cancer. God has blessed me beyond measure this year with so many opportunities to connect with children who are fighting for their lives. With my career goal set to be a Pediatric Oncology Nurse Practitioner, I often times get asked "how are you going to do that?" or "why are you doing that?!" I truly believe we each have different gifts, different tools from God that are to be used to help others. Whether it is working in a hospice/hospital, school, or even in a retail store, there are abundant opportunities to change people's lives. 

I will never forget when I was a young child and I was always so incredibly drawn to children who were bald. At the time I knew they had "cancer," but I didn't fully grasp what exactly that meant. That is until a performance I did when I was twelve. I was casted as the Snow Queen in the seasonal "Nutcracker" performance and was beyond excited to dance my first big role. What I didn't know was that God had something so much bigger prepared for me that night than I could even imagine. Long story short, the performance went great and I loved every second I was on stage. After bows all the dancers rushed to the dressing room to get ready to go out to the lobby to visit people in the audience. As God would have it, right when I walked out into the lobby, there was a girl (about nine) who was bald and weak. While my family and friends were standing behind her waiting to see me, I could look at no one but her. I quickly walked up to her and began talking. She didn't say much, but what her mom said to me will always be a memory in my heart. Her mother simply took my hand and said "you were her favorite." I knew I surely wasn't her favorite because I was the best (which I certainly wasn't!), or because I had a white tutu on. I knew I was her favorite because I had prayed before performing that God dance through me to touch at least one person in the audience. He had chosen her that night. From that moment on, I knew I wanted to work with children who have been diagnosed with cancer; but I also knew it would probably never happen because at the time I was far more focused on my ballet career. God had other plans!

As I am now back home in Georgia and going to school, I volunteer at Children's Heathcare of Atlanta in the Aflac Oncology and Blood Disorder Clinic. I have met numerous children along this journey in my life, and each one has taught me something different. While hospital policy restricts me from using their real names, I have made up ones to fill in the blanks. There was Jeremy who had Leukemia (ALL) as well as downs syndrome. He taught me that no matter what life throws at you, there is always time to sit in bed and read. It may seem like a small lesson, but it's one I am still working on! Then there was Stephanie who had Leukemia (AML). She taught me in a quick few minutes that just because your parents don't care about your health, you still should. Jeffrey taught me that while we may be forced to do things in life we really and truly do not want to do, there is never a bad time to thank the person who is putting up with our attitude...even if it means we have to get more medicine. ;-) I can't forget about Bella. She is living proof that we don't need to be able to talk to impact others. It can be done with a genuine hug, or even a big smile and thumbs up. Sometimes actions speak louder than words- make that a lot of the time. Rachel had sickle cell disease as well as cancer. She also had a disorder that delayed her growth and speech. While tutoring her in math one morning, I realized what it looks like to keep trying, even when nothing makes sense at all. She would write letters as an answer to an arithmetic problem, or color a picture that was supposed to be solved with math answers. She knew she was wrong at one point, and she tried to fixed it all, but she never did stop working. I could go on and on about the small, yet so important, lessons I have learned through these "borrowed angels." 

For those who have read my blog, you have witnessed a few of the many lessons Tori has unknowingly taught me. They will continue to be revealed throughout this blog. The one that I am holding on to the most right now, with so many exciting things in my near future, is the lesson that we all must live our life for God and no one else. We must live for the satisfaction of Him, not for ourselves or others. She time and time again exemplifies this "rule" by her actions and words of faith. She accepts, as do I now, that we are not promised tomorrow. Tori wakes up everyday, makes sure she gets in a cute outfit that makes her feel whatever mood she's in (sweet, sassy, etc), and she goes out with a positive attitude, constantly thanking God for everything in life- big and small. 

With that, be open to those around you who might have only been put in your life for one reason...to teach you something. Those that we tend to try and change or push away, are most of the time those that are meant to change us. Accept that you aren't perfect and that you have a lot to learn, and never ever underestimate the power of a child. 

-Love in Christ,

Leighton

PS. I finally get to go spend the weekend with Tori in Columbus!! I will write a new post after I see her. :)